Labeling? Is it helpful?

Something is “off” and you know it…

More than that YOU FEEL IT…Let me show you how labeling can be helpful.

You notice certain things that make say “hmmm” or maybe your choice of pondering is a little more like…”What the H-E- double hockey sticks?” When in a toxic relationship, your confusion is understandable. Whatever your response to your “off” feeling, you begin the research. Online searches, buying EVERY self-help book you can get your hands on, journaling, venting to your closest friends, and yet ANOTHER doctor appointment in hopes to explain those emotional ups and downs you feel on the reg., and, of course, there’s therapy…AGAIN.

You make every effort to find an answer, an explanation, something, anything to give you a glimpse of hope, a clue to your “OFF” feeling. You ask these questions, “Is it me? Am I crazy? hormonal? sick?” OR…could it be that there is a bigger issue here. Could it be that what is happening, what you are feeling and “pondering” is the result of your environment?

I could go so many different ways with that question, BUT let me first say that this post is in NO WAY an effort for any of us to excuse or overlook ANY behavior or reaction that we ourselves need to take ownership for and correct. Nor is it meant to point fingers at others therefore letting ourselves off the hook. Conversely, this is for clarity, for hope, for understanding, for knowledge, and ultimately…for your freedom! It is what has brought me mine.

O.K.A.Y. with that out of the way…

Going deeper

Let’s dive into this a little more. Yes, your environment…location…GPS…habitat, etc. are all so very important. All the chemicals, toxins, EMF’s (electromagnetic fields) that affect our bodies at the cellular level are all around us and we can most certainly do LOTS to reduce those (post coming on that later…). BUT, what I’m talking about for now is the PEOPLE in our environment; our partners in life, our family members, our closest friends, basically those relationships that affect our everyday lives. At this point you may be asking, what does this have to do with labeling?

I am so glad you asked!

Understanding a “label” is all about perspective

Labels can either set you free or bind you like a slave. IT IS 100% UP TO YOU! I cannot stress that enough! My autoimmune “label” LITERALLY freed me (see my post 5 reasons autoimmune is the best thing that has EVER happened to me). A recent diagnosis of a family member with a mental health disorder, a label, actually freed us ALL. It has helped us understand the pressure and the extra challenges she faces E-V-E-R-Y single day. AGAIN with the research, I went a little crazy (I even wrote a 12 page research paper about it. Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m a little nerdy like that) but have I learned so much and been able to give helpful advice and empathy to her and others!

The power is in your hands

Personally, I now understand how using labels to describe relational experiences like… (toxic, unhealthy, and abusive) can affect a person’s well-being. Read more about that here in my post 15 signs of a Toxic Relationship. The thing is, all of that is labeling. Okay, I get the whole mindset behind NOT assigning labels to people and the reasoning behind it, however, let me just point out again that this is all about perspective. I can CHOOSE to have a victim mentality based on that label and use it to wallow in (one reason not to label) or I can see it as hope, answers, and understanding for myself AND others.

How is labeling helpful?

Case in point, I will approach my newly diagnosed (labeled) family member differently when I have something potentially controversial to discuss. Additionally, my “label” of autoimmune disease helps me to listen to my body when I am feeling overwhelmed and fatigued. ALSO, I can either see my “abused label” as debilitating and become a victim of my circumstances and my environment OR I can use that as fuel to seek help, take my healing into my own hands and learn tools to create better boundaries and grow as a person.

Ultimately, I have the power when I have the “label” to understand the behavior and feelings. BECAUSE I have the abused label, I have more empathy for those who are struggling and wondering, “what is wrong with ME?” Now, please do NOT misunderstand, I did not want, nor asked for, nor would I ever wish an abusive relationship on anyone, EVER, but when we understand that what is happening in our bodies is a response to that abuse (past or present), we are able to see it for what it is and then we are able to make changes that frees us everyday! See this “label” helps ME to be more intuitive and having a label can help you in the same way.

Labels can…

Do something with that label

Having a “label” is the answer to your questions. Let it guide you to better health, a better relationship, a better understanding of yourself and others. Or maybe it will guide you to finally make that decision that has been lingering in your mind for awhile now. Is it me? Is something wrong with me? Or is this something else that you need to deal with?

Are you sick? Make an appointment with a doctor…they may label you with a diagnosis and…OKAY….that can be a good thing. How?Because…

• Answers = Change.

Are you hurting, emotionally? Find a therapist. Go see them. Talk to them. See what in the wide, wide, world of sports is going on in your soul. Because…

• Answers = Change.

Is something “off” with a significant relationship? Go to them. Talk about it with them. If you have and it’s just the same ‘ole crap over and over, maybe it’s time to talk to a counselor. Find out if something is going on that you aren’t aware of. For me, I had been exposed to unhealthy toxic relationships my whole life and I simply did not know there was any other way. Again the knowledge of the label behind my specific situation, BROUGHT ME FREEDOM! I got answers which, you guessed it…

• Answers = Change.

The Eeyore mindset

Last thing, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT resign yourself to the “this is just the way things are” mentality! PLEASE do not do that. Hear my plea, this is not normal, it is not just the way things are. My heavens, we are meant for so much more than the humdrum Eeyore mentality of just accepting the “crappy hand” we have been dealt. NO! You are a beautiful soul that is meant to soar, and love and to BE loved. You have a destiny. OH my, I wish you could feel how excited I get when I KNOW there is so much more for you! Please do not give up on yourSELF! Please. We are all waiting to see what you are destined to become.

This IS learning about the “true you.” Are you ready? Yes, I know you are or you wouldn’t be here reading this.