How to Let Go of What Doesn’t Serve You

Meditate – to let go

It always fascinates me when certain phrases or words stick with me during times of meditation. This morning’s phrase is “Let go of what doesn’t serve you.” It is easy to be skeptical about mediation and even retract when people talk about the particular “benefits” of it. I am certain this comes from my legalistic upbringing. Since beginning my meditation practice (which is very sporadic I might add, but incredibly helpful for my anxiety and brain fog), I have “heard” many new little tidbits of wisdom that have brought clarity to situations.

I HIGHLY recommend the app Daily Yoga https://www.dailyyoga.com/ which incorporates meditation with yoga practice.

LOVE it! I mean L-O-V-E! Also, the benefits of yoga for those who struggle with adrenal issues can be exactly what one needs to continue to get exercise but not put added stress on your body. More on adrenal fatigue later…

Anyways, the message this morning was loud and clear…“Let go of what doesn’t serve you!”

Listen to your body – so that you can let go

Y’all it took me some time to really, really get this, like a several hours before I had my “ah-ha” moment. Over the past few weeks I have been wrestling with some feelings that have come up regarding people in my inner-circle. Do you know what I mean? It’s that pit in your stomach achy feeling, that cloud of depression that seems to follow you wherever you go, that “I just want to sleep for days” mentality, that “Is it possible to run out of tears from crying so much?” kinda feeling, that kind of wrestling! NOT FUN and NOT REMOTELY my personality.

So when these feelings come up, our bodies are telling us to stop and pay attention. Something is wrong and our wonderful bodies are trying to tell us something. Get quiet and listen.

Do people shock you?

Normally, my outlook on life is generally positive all smiles. Even when things are in turmoil, I can put on the mask with the best of ’em! But when the rug is pulled out from under you, the smile fades and the happy times vanish. When I say “pulls the rug out,” I mean some serious hurt by people you thought would never do the things they do.

Now listen, just to be clear, I do not want to sound judgemental because, of all people, I am no-one to be pointing fingers. Fallen sinner right here sister! But sometimes people just shock the H-E-double hockey sticks out of me. It’s like the scene from Pretty Woman when she is in the bathroom flossing her teeth from eating the strawberries and Richard Gere thinks she is doing drugs. He is surprised that she has taken the time to floss and he says, “It’s just that very few people surprise me.” To which Julia Roberts replies, “Yeah, well you’re lucky. Most of ’em shock the hell outta me.” I MEAN RIGHT! Is this how you feel or am I the only one?

Awareness – to let go

Hanging on to hurt doesn’t serve us… and it can very well be killing us. The pain, the feeling of betrayal, the hurt, y’all it’s too much for our beautiful bodies to hang on to. So how can awareness help you to “let go?”

To begin the process of letting go, ask yourself, “does this serve me?” Let me let you in on a secret… the answer is, NO! Hanging on is hurting us. It does the polar opposite of serving us. This awareness is a key element in our healing. I wrote a more extensive post on accepting our feelings and what to do when we are becoming more aware of our feelings.

So now what? Now that you are more aware, what do I do to “let go?” How do you release it? Is it just forgiveness and then we’re good? Are you just supposed to forget about it like it didn’t happen? Is it putting your guards up with those people so we don’t get hurt again? I MEAN, what is this “letting go” process look like exactly? Awareness is just the first step. It begins with understanding.

Understanding – to let go

Your EGO

During my walk, I was listening to the audible book, “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert. In one of her chapters, she talked about the ego and how it doesn’t “serve” us. {Funny how those messages keep popping up when the universe is trying to get your attention.} Mrs. Gilbert expounds on acknowledging our ego but if someone criticizes or gives their unsolicited opinion and it affects our ego in a way that we experience an extreme reaction, then it is probably our ego that is offended, not our souls.

Your SOUL

This criticism shouldn’t affect our souls (our feelings, character, inner being.) People’s opinions and criticisms will ALWAYS be there no matter how “clean” you keep your hands, or how “perfect” your actions are, or how much you bend over backwards for others. Looming criticism will always be there BUT don’t let it affect your soul, the inner man/woman/child, the “who you are” person. When we feel overly charged or really devastated by someone words or actions, it is because our ego has gotten in the way. We are allowing that ego to dictate our feelings and our pain and the ego isn’t really the true you. He/she is a facade of who we want others to think we are and that most definitely doesn’t serve us, AT ALL!

Sorry, gotta take a moment and pause here ’cause my mind is blown by this little basic concept… OKAY, I’m good. Wow!

Decide – to let go

Now let me clarify one thing, our egos do have a purpose. It is what gives us our self-confidence to take on things that seem overwhelming or impossible. It allows us to stand up for those things that are challenging or what we may believe is out of our reach. While there is a place for ego in our lives, if our reactions to others actions or words causes us distress then we might want to evaluate whether this serves us or not. At this point we can make educated decisions about situations, choices, and people that we allow in our lives. Does this serve me?

If the answer is no then…

LET IT GO.

To sum up how to let go of what doesn’t serve you…

1. Meditate
2. Listen to your body
3. Be intensely aware of your emotions
4. Understand the difference between EGO and YOU
5. Make educated decisions